If you are a sandwich carer – simultaneously caring for elderly relatives as well as dependent children – please know that you are not alone. Adopting some or all the following strategies can really help carers navigate those challenging sandwich years…
Seek Support
Seeking support is essential. Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends and family members for emotional support and advice. Alternatively, find a local support group, or professional counsellor for the support and practical advice you need. Charities like Age UK and Carers UK are great sources for both advice and support for all types of care, including sandwich care. Other useful details for carers seeking support include:
- Carers Trust – information and support for people caring for someone else.
- NHS – Social care and support guide – information for people who have care and support needs, and their carers. Includes practical tips, plus guidance about benefits and services. Offers a helpline and email help form for carers.
- Samaritans – open 24/7 for anyone who needs to talk. You can visit some Samaritans branches in person.
- Mind – Mind’s helplines provide information and support by phone and email. Local Minds offer face-to-face services across England and Wales. These services include talking therapies, peer support and advocacy. Side by Side is Mind’s supportive online community for anyone experiencing a mental health problem.
Set Boundaries
Establish clear boundaries and communicate openly with both your children and ageing parents about your limitations and needs. Setting boundaries can help you to meet your own needs, build your resilience and maintain positive relationships the person you care for alongside your caring role. These boundaries not only grant you the space to attend to your personal needs while assisting others but also enhance your rapport with the individual you support.
Take Care Of Yourself
We need to let go of the beliefs and perceptions that stops us from shifting towards self-prioritisation. Putting yourself first doesn’t mean taking care of yourself instead of others. It means putting you at the top of the list – not just because it brings a better version of yourself to others, but because of our human right to be healthy and happy. We deserve to thrive, not just survive.
Women are often socialised to prioritise the needs of others, stemming from a deeply ingrained inclination to satisfy and avoid feelings of selfishness. Given that a sizeable portion of caregivers in the UK are women, this further compounds the struggle for self-care. However, prioritising self-care activities such as exercise, relaxation techniques, and hobbies to replenish your physical and emotional well-being is fundamental when caring for others long term.
Utilise Respite Care Provisions
If you are unable to enlist the help of family and friends to give you a well-earned break, explore available resources such as respite care, eldercare services, and government assistance programmes to ease the pressure of caregiving and access additional support.
Respite care provides temporary relief for carers needing to take a break from caring for their loved one. During respite care, the person receiving care stays in a care home offering respite care or will receive care at home from trained professionals or volunteers, allowing the primary caregiver to take a break, attend to personal matters, or simply recharge. Respite care can range from short-term stays in residential care homes to in-home care provided for a few hours or days.
Respite care plays a crucial role in mitigating caregiver burnout while simultaneously safeguarding the ongoing well-being of both the caregiver and the care recipient.
Delegate Responsibilities
Don’t be afraid to delegate tasks and responsibilities to other family members or hired caregivers to lighten your load and prevent burnout. Delegating caregiving tasks doesn’t always come easily, some key tips are:
- Take the time to plan. Don’t shy away from delegating because you don’t know what to tell others to do. If you keep doctor’s appointments, valuable information, and medicine schedules in your head, you may find it overwhelming to explain to others. Write it all down. Often, sharing the mental load is a helpful exercise in itself.
- Provide clear instructions on what you need. Don’t leave room for ambiguity, be specific.
- Recognise and accept that your helpers may do things differently to you. If the outcome is the same, does it really matter if their method was different to yours? That said, some rules will be non-negotiable, but what is important is that the task gets done – you never know, a new way may be a better way.
- Don’t forget to say thank you. With so much on your mind, it is understandable that something will slip your mind. Just don’t let showing your appreciation be it!
In summary, being a sandwich carer is a complex role filled with both joys and challenges. While the journey may be demanding, it’s essential to remember that you’re not alone and that help is available. By acknowledging the pros and cons of sandwich caregiving and implementing effective coping strategies, you can navigate this role with resilience, compassion, and grace, ensuring the well-being of both your loved ones and you.
If you are looking into respite care for yourself or a loved one, either on a short term or longer-term basis, our respite care provisions at Aria Care communities are adaptable to the needs and circumstances of the resident allowing the carer to take as much of a break as they need. Whether you are recovering from surgery or illness, or your carer is away for a period of time, we can help. With activities and amenities to take advantage of, we ensure you can make the most of your time with us.
Why not book a visit to see our respite care provision first hand or call us to chat things through in person – 0808 175 4040.
